Readers Response 2

  In the essay "Bros Before Hos": The Guy Code, Michael Kimmel a Sociologist, mentions the meaning of what it is to be masculine and how it is currently relevant to males now a days. He investigates males between the ages of 16- 26, and focuses on the "Code" that guys are expected to follow. He begins stating a list of conduct that men say and should live by. His emphasis that all men are to be tough and show no emotion or any sign of them being weak in any foreseeable way, this is the "Code"; "The unifying emotional subtext that all of these aphorism involves never showing emotions or admitting to weakness"(609). And whats most intriguing about it is that these rules have changed very little, in comparison to that of studies done by Social Psychologist Robert Brannon, in 1976.
  From Kimmel's research and observations of asking several young men across the nation, as well as overseas, what there own construction of "manhood" was. He concluded that we come to learn these behaviors from coaches, grandfathers and uncles because they constantly stress, and ideally reflect masculinity. Applying much effort to their manhood to be "man among men", not to impress women; according to noted playwright David Mamet, women have a low place in a mans' mind, "What men need is men's approval"(611). Criticism is always present Kimmel mentions "Gender Police": guys are constantly on alert to catch one another "slipping", the slightest misstep and you will receive a ticket. Subsequently leading to put-downs that borderline our masculinity and femininity, the most common "that's so gay". That even women can perceive it and often say that if a guy is listening rather than looking at her rack, lacking masculinity for not showing sexual interest, they frame them as being gay. In addition to the gender police comes Homophobia, the fear of other men, genuinely that other men would apprehend it as failure, weakness and unmanly. He argues that wealth, power, status, strength, physicality are characteristics derived as proof that one is not gay as the single cardinal rule of manhood.
  I agree with Michael Kimmel that this is not by any means biological and that it is our influence of decision. That boys are taught through society to act like men. As a kid I did not have much of a father figure, on account of my father checked out when I was about four years old, my mom being the only one left to care for me primarily just did the nurturing. Raised by own interpretation of a man, I spent most of the hours of the day on the field, in the streets "kicking it" with different crowds; boys from the hood getting rowdy causing havoc. Through experiences and from my friends dads' did I come to pick up on some extra feed back of what it was be a man in a very basic way, like doing yard work, that pretty much all the indoor work was for the women and the more thick-skinned work was to be done by the man. From playing sports I collectively understood that a man had to be tough, to be ruthless and yet look presentable. By not knowing anything about being a man I came to have lots of knowledge, like a whiteboard that started blank and ended with writing all over.